Friday, February 29, 2008

Going on a Retreat to WSS

I'm going on a women's retreat with Officers Christian Fellowship & Women of the Chapel (on base) at White Sulfur Springs in PA. I don't want to go but am going out of obedience. I won't know anyone except Sheri Braddy. I'm not even sure if the Lord wants me to go. Everything is chaotic...especially with the kids...lots of arguing, hitting & fighting. I feel like Solomon in Ecclesiastes when he says that everything is meaningless. I know that is true without Christ in your life, but right now, I can't find Him. The fog is too thick, & the enemy's lies are too loud. I am doubting my salvation big time. "Why would God want to choose me?" I know that none of us deserve it, but I really, really feel like I don't deserve it so why would He want me? The meds work some of the time. The nighttime meds aren't working all night long. Pray that the doc can give me something today so I can get some good rest. Please pray that I find Christ this weekend...especially if I am not really saved.

I am going to the gastro this morning for a check up so please pray that he can help my very sluggish GI system...that really, really bothers me & causes me great concern & at times, anxiety. I have no desire to eat, & when I do eat, I force myself & cannot eat very much at all.

Desperately seeking Him...love,
Stephanie<><
PS...Sorry that my thoughts are all over the place...that's just the way my brain is working right now.

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